It’s coming up on the is the 36th anniversary of the moment I became a mother…in other words, it’s time to say Happy Birthday to my oldest son! He’s someone I’ve not written about here much, so I think it’s time for me to share a little bit about him…call it today’s joy!
Kevin was my introduction into motherhood…my husband and I had no idea what parenting this child would be like 36 years ago, but we jumped in…and were we EVER in for a ride full of surprises!
Keep in mind, this was 3 years BEFORE our youngest, Kyle, was born. We later would find out that he was on the autism spectrum, which many of you regular visitors know about, since I have written and done videos about Kyle here. Actually though, we found out about Kyle, while we were having Kevin evaluated for ADHD…which he ended up having WITHOUT a doubt! HIS diagnosis was our first introduction into the world of doctors, medication and therapists. With looking at all aspects of Kevin’s life, both at school and at home, questions about his sibling were pretty detailed…which, in turn, really opened up a whole new path in our parenting journey! A couple of months later, we got the confirmation about his brother’s autism, all while we were adjusting medications and therapy schedules for Kevin. Oh, my…talk about baptism by fire! That was the summer of 1991…life as we knew it, CHANGED…on.a.dime.
I think what prompted me the most to write about all of this today is that I realized something: we had Kevin in our lives daily, for 17 years…after that, a series of choices he made took him into the military briefly, then on to living over 1,000 mile from us, all by the age of 18. He’s been on his own ever since. So, he’s been living AWAY from home now MORE years than he lived AT home with us – 18 years – and THAT made me pause…my heart skipped a beat…wow.
Kevin was (well, still IS) happy and active…funny and wise…smart, really genius level. He has always been one to take risks and march to the beat of his own drum (literally, one of his passions is music and he’s a drummer)…and I can truthfully say as hard as it was to parent him, especially in his teen years, he’s the kinda guy (if he wasn’t my son) that I’d just love to sit and get to know, because he’s that much fun to have a conversation with!
As I sit here and write this today, Kevin has a good job, with benefits, working in a field which he studied for, got an actual trade certificate for. He’s been making solid choices with big life decisions for the last couple of years…owning a new vehicle, finally living in a place completely alone, without roommates…even sticking to his plan of staying put, where he’s at, rather than relocating during some trying times when he was furloughed from his job during the pandemic (he’s back at work now, thankfully). To see him today, you’d never know the whole backstory, tho…all the struggles…
We truly did the best we could, with the resources we had…and we know it was worth all the tears and frustration…he’s kind, caring and has never been in jail (that we know of)! HOWEVER…there were days that we felt he definitely could end up on the wrong side of the law…but we tried to fill him up with fine examples of simply being a good human. Some days it felt like we just were not making any progress with him. We would worry and beat ourselves up mentally. Our biggest validation came years later, when his friends would tell us what a great job we did raising such a good guy. I mean, y’all….THAT was HUGE for us. All those HARD years…every dang second, was worth it just to hear that! As a parent, that’s what you want, right? To just know that all the good stuff you taught your kid really IS buried deep in their gut and they take it to heart. You get to see him/her become their own person, making other people’s lives brighter by helping them and being a good friend. You witness their independence, happiness and their own version of success…what more could any parent want? It sure does bring me joy!
As you look at the following video (and I hope you do) just remember that many of these photos were taken in the years Kevin has lived away from us, during his 20’s & 30’s. He’s been back home a few times, but we’ve also visited him wherever he lived, too. Another visit is long, long overdue.
I have SO many photos of him as a baby, a little kid and all though school, though…but I had to pick just small a selection for my little birthday montage today. It is my hope to share more photos and stories here, so I’ll save lots more for that! Truth be told, I need to write a book…maybe someday…
I’ll share ONE other video below, also…when Kevin came home to surprise ME for my birthday a few years ago…it’s just a short clip of our family in the Jeep, on our way to lunch…and it’s hilarious. You’ll see…
Isn’t Kevin just something else? I hope this all made you smile.
Oh, and Kev…Happy Birthday…seriously…we love you, bud!
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